Rating: 💋 💋 💋
So right now, I work in an office, and I am surrounded by a pretty great team. There's the guy from the cafe who brings me an almond milk Chai latte every morning, even though I've never asked; there's the tech team who always helps out with clients; and there's a whole kitchen full of wonderful people with such positive energy that they always cheer me up. I am hella grateful. I wanted to do a little something as a thank you, and I thought a platter full of homemade cookies would be a great idea. It is the holidays, after all.
So this past Saturday morning, I got up and took the Q train (which is finally running, thank GOD) to the grocery store to get all of my baking needs. Turns out, baking ingredients can get pricey, which is a shame cos I am trying to ball on a budget over here. Also, I specifically picked recipes with minimal ingredients, so I presented my debit card to the cashier sadly, as the true epitome of a fool in man's shoes. The part that got me was, I could not even find all of the ingredients! Which means I had to substitute. Which is kind of a bold move because baking is a very exact science. Which makes me anxious that I am gifting these people low-quality goods. Ahhhhh.
But I pressed on, and when I got home I immediately put on my 'Misteltoad" ugly Christmas sweater, cranked up 'Merry Christmas, Baby' by Bruce Springsteen, and got to work.
1. Chocolate Cashew Turtles
Well, to start off, Target did not have pecan halves, they only had diced pecans, so I had to throw the whole turtle thing out the window from the onset and make a chilled bark instead. Then I unwrapped all those caramels and I was in aromatic heaven, but my kitchen appliances brought that joy crashing down real fast. I think our microwave goes too hard with heat all at once, because I microwaved the caramel for the minimum amount of time and the caramel turned super dark, even with me stirring regularly and all that jazz. Everything smelled like burnt marshmallow. For all I knew, the caramel was supposed to turn that dark though, because the recipe did not really give me a lot of pointers. Oh dear. I decided not to give up, so I spread it on the pan, poured the semisweet chocolate (which melted just fine) and the crushed pecans over top and slapped that cookie sheet in the fridge to chill, out of sight, out of mind.
2. Peppermint Bark
Fortunately for us all, the second recipe went much better than the first. The Lindt milk chocolate smelled so intoxicating as I unwrapped it that I felt guilty popping it in the microwave, but I knew it was for a greater cause. Also, the recipe called for Belgian chocolate and I used Swiss, but really, who is keeping tabs? They both speak French and churn out quality chocolate, that's all you need. The chocolate melted beautifully, it set in thee fridge beautifully, and my confidence was restored.
The white chocolate smelled divine and heated well too, so once the milk chocolate was well-set, I poured the white over top. Crushed peppermint was the final step, and when Shannon discovered me whacking the bag of peppermint candies against the counter - which I am sure would have done the job eventually, if a bit explosively - she took over. She very seriously pulled out a bottle of Haut-Medoc, explained to me that, "Wine bottles have many uses," and began gently crushing the peppermints (now safely inside a plastic bag) with the wine. During this time we had a great conversation about how all kinds of chocolate are good, be it dark, milk, or white, and how this wine bottle fiasco is probably a sign that we really need to invest in a rolling pin. Oh well. Thanks to her help, I was able to spread an event layer of peppermint over the white chocolate and finish the bark, leaving it in the fridge to chill.
3. Peanut Butter Balls
All I really have to say about these guys is, they shook my confidence yet again. Rude. Target did not have any confectioner's sugar so I had to use granulated instead, and I think that's a likely reason they never got quite firm enough in the fridge. Too much gooey peanut butter without enough to dry it out. Eventually, they got covered in melted semisweet chocolate and that got chilled over top, so if you're into gooey peanut butter and chocolate, you're good. God bless Shannon for being upset I didn't save her one and snagging a cookie from the tray for my office. I hope she enjoys it. It doesn't look pretty though. I cannot even talk about the presentation, it upsets me so much, even though they taste good. Get it out of my sight!
You will notice, they did not get a solo shot of their finished product. They didn't deserve the attention, and I threw out the recipe.
4. German Chocolate Cake Cookies
And then peace was restored yet again with these bad boys. They were super simple to make, mixing two large eggs, cake mix, and sugar for the dough, then cooking for about ten minutes at 350. The unfortunate thing about my oven is, it heats up the kitchen really fast, but it always takes longer than directed to cook anything. Let me know how that even makes sense. Either way, the cookies baked, and while the oven took care of that, I mixed a jar of caramel, 2/3 cup coconut flakes, and 2/3 cup crushed pecans together to make the frosting. I had a great time decorating the cookies with the frosting once they were cool, which was nice because it reminded me that I do actually really enjoy baking. Proper ingredients, a working oven, and an electric mixer just make it a much better experience. That's the other thing - we don't have an electric mixer yet, so we have to beat eggs and stir batter all by ourselves. I would not exactly call myself muscular. I'm more of a spaghetti arms situation, so I don't mind doing things the old-fashioned way if I must, but please be proud of me. I mixed all the cookies myself, in an amazing feat, considering my biceps are in hiding. Go MK!
5. Chocolate Chip Cookies
I saved the best for last, so I thought, because this was the only recipe I had made before. Remember my Mom's phenomenal cookies? Yeah, these are those. So, a lot of pressure on them, but also, I've done it so often before. I have to say though, I had never had to mix them by hand before and oh my God. Saturday is supposed to be my day OFF from the gym! Hmph. Also, I have really had it with my oven now, because I made them just the way I always have, the way my Mom always has, and they always turn out big and fluffy. This oven is why you can never say always! They were still large and chocolatey and gooey in the center...but they weren't quite fluffy enough. The people at work don't know what they're missing, but I am internally weeping that this batch isn't up to snuff. My soul is wounded. You'll see that there are no photos of them once baked because I was so mad.
Anyway, Shannon told me to not "go overboard like Mom," and I fear I did. Here, I was worried I wouldn't have enough cookies, and then I was cramming to stuff them an in the cookie tin artfully, without spilling over. Shannon just gave me a look and said, "You are so like her." Well...this cookie baking extravaganza happened on my Mom's birthday, so I guess it was fitting. Happy birthday Mom!
All I know is, I really hoped the team would accept and enjoy these cookies, because they took me six hours to crank out, when all was said and done. I immediately had to turn on the water and start cooking my dinner - whole wheat penne with broccoli rabe, turkey sausage, and ricotta. Don't worry though. I poured myself a glass of coquito and had a dance party to Lizzo - a happy reward for a hard day's work.
Then, when I brought them in on Monday, my team inhaled the tray and talked to me about them all day. They were guessing the frosting ingredients, packing them up to bring home to their families, and a collection of cookies even traveled upstairs to our tech team. I didn't find that out til Tuesday, when one of the tech guys slacked me to thank me for the German chocolate cookies, his favorite! Our catering manager specifically liked the peanut butter explosion that was characteristic of those tricky peanut butter concoctions, and our team's tech assistant said he could taste that the cookies were "baked with love," as he brought an assortment of bark and chocolate chip to his office. I guess I did okay after all!
My chai tea supplier told me, "You really are a baker at heart." 😊 🍪 🥰
Have a great weekend!!
XX,
MK
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