Rating: 💋 💋 💋 💋
Hello! At long last, I got a day off! I cup days off in my palm like precious jewels - they almost matter too much. I was ecstatic. I slept in a little bit. I basked in the sun. The day was off to a great start. To celebrate in style, Shannon and I made lunch plans. I met her at Brookfield Place, which was a mutually convenient location with a lot of great food options. Neither of us wanted anything too heavy or crazy because the oppressive summer heat made that feel like way too much work. Fortunately, in the upper level of the mall there is an Olive's, which has some nice sandwich and salad options.
The art of deciding is something I have never excelled at, especially when there are many good options and the heat is confusing my stomach from knowing what it really wants. I was pretty set on getting a salad, which is why I got a sandwich. Shannon ordered the Smoked Turkey sandwich and I went with the Roasted Shiitake Mushroom and Oven-Dried Tomatoes Baguette. A veggie sandwich is basically a salad on bread instead of with bread. It is essentially the same thing. Right?
Whatever.
They told me it would only be a three minute wait for my order, which I thought was funny. Usually at lunch counters like that they tell you they will call your name and you wait, but I have never been given such a precise time. I felt so spoiled. When it took longer than three minutes, it did not bother me though. Three struck me as shockingly fast in the first place, and anyway, I was not in a hurry. It was the lunch rush and they were all working hard. I could wait.
We decided to eat outside because it was such a lovely day. As hot as it was, it was tanning beach day hot, not "I would rather freeze in the AC hot". Everyone in New York seemed to get the same memo. The waterfront was full of people eating and hanging out and enjoying the weather. After a year shuttered in doors, we were all crawling out of our caves and reaching for the sun, desperate for some Vitamin D. We got a nice seat on the steps by the water, looking out as the boats drifted past the Statue of Liberty. I actually ended up getting a tan line from my sandals, which I am still working on getting rid of. Sigh.
Shannon was very pleased with her sandwich, packed with sweet turkey, crispy bacon, fresh lettuce and tomato, and a lovely avocado mayonnaise. I one hundred percent bookmarked that sandwich for a future visit. It looked so good! I had a fantastic time with my baguette, though. Slathered in oven-dried tomatoes that burst sweet juice onto the earthy shiitake mushrooms, crisp cress, and creamy herbed ricotta, it was such an MK sandwich. It tasted filling, flavorful and special.
Moments like these make me feel like a real adult making her way in the city, a part of things rather than looking in. I cannot totally explain why, it is just the feeling. While we ate, we discussed work, the James Beard chocolate brownies she had brought into the office (I got to taste one - incredible), writing ideas and some life updates.
After lunch, I walked over to Target to pick up a few things, and I tasted the freedom of not having to rush through it because I had nowhere to report to afterwards. My day fully belonged to myself. It felt so luxurious. As far as working nights goes, it is definitely a bummer having to anticipate going into work all day, rather than working with the promise of home to greet you at the end of the shift. At least for me. With the day off, I was able to take my time with my sandwich and my shopping, and it was a revelation.
Then I had the night to myself, to read and write and do whatever else I wanted. I always tell people, I am not a morning or a night person, I am just an awake person. I get up early, I do not take naps, and I cannot fall asleep at night. Can you imagine if I drank caffeine? My energy levels differ by the time of day though, and my creativity is sharpest at night. As a result, I have not been doing a lot of the things I love most, because I have been working. I so valued having a night off to tap back into that creative energy.
I promised my mom I wouldn't lose sight of why I moved back to the city, and I will not let my life get swept away from me. When I had this lunch, I was just coming off of a very exciting beauty commercial that I had the opportunity to do. This meant a lot because it really helped me feel seen as an actor, boosted my confidence and re-centered me in a way.
I have been working at a restaurant in New York City, which can be a bit daunting at times considering we are still in a pandemic. I needed a job though and I have my vaccinations, plus I will not work without a mask. Safety is of the utmost importance to me and not everyone respects it, but I have to remain firm. This pandemic is so much bigger than us. I will not sway because of any singular person who is offended by having to wear a mask or any peer pressure to act like everything is fine when we are all still healing in so many ways. When it comes to the job itself, I have worked at a handful of restaurants over the past decade, so I am not breaking new ground here. Still, every place has its own rhythm and it is interesting getting to know this restaurant's personality.
Recently, as I walked from the train to work, I was slapped in the face by movie deja vu. I absolutely love Amélie, a cute little film that uses magical realism and whimsy to tell the story of a waitress in Paris seeking out a connection with the people surrounding her. The film combines melancholy with quirkiness and I do not know any other movie quite like it. Je l'adore. Amélie's solitude is essential to her character and her efforts to reach others on some level drives the action in the plot. It struck me that my life this summer has mirrored hers, twenty-four years later and in New York City rather than Paris. I realized that it is much more enjoyable to watch her live out her adventures than it is to live a life parallel to hers - running back and forth from serving people food to cooking quiet meals at home in my studio, looking out the window to see the city breathe and wondering what it holds for me and when that begins. This is especially true because my life lacks the intrigue and the mystery of Nino Quincampoix, which is so essential to making her story as compelling as it is.
I have decided though that perhaps my adventure in the city has begun, it is just a very slow moving first act. I am looking forward to seeing action kicking up a notch, but I think that might be just around the corner. Stay tuned!
I feel this way mostly because I am switching from accepting whatever I am given to saying *no, I deserve better. I deserve more. I deserve the best. If the original person in question will not give me that, no stress. I can be patient. Someone else will come along who will. This applies to you as well, so jot it down and keep it close to you always.
You deserve the best.
XX,
MK
*when it applies
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